Grant

When I was in third year at Queen's, I went through an... interesting final quarter of the year; this interesting epoch involved a girl from one of my classes. Now, this brief episode of my life would end up shaping the rest of my time at Queen's in ways I had not anticipated but that's a story best saved for another time. The important point (from the perspective of this particular entry) is that very early on in the whole affair, I had sent Grant an email, documenting the preliminary failures I had in my attempts at getting to know this girl. His reply was one of kindest and most uplifting messages I have ever gotten from anyone. On the strength of this reply alone, I convinced myself to see the whole thing through to the end and hey, it actually turned out pretty well, all things considered.

I spent about half an hour (time I don't actually have) trying to decide on the one definitive example of why Grant has been one of the most influential people in my life. Of course, when you've known someone for 10+ years, the one moment you choose to define your friendship will invariably end up inadequate, particularly if this person happens to understand you better than anyone else you could ever hope to run into.

That was not an exaggeration. I truly don't think I will ever meet someone who understands the way I think, feel, or operate, better than Grant. From the jokes that I find hilarious to the importance of love and why "there's nothing more to life than girls," to the darkest and most horrible realizations I sometimes have about human nature - I hardly ever have to censor myself around Grant because he gets it. Grant just gets it. And that's the thing about someone who knows you as well as you know yourself - I can say anything about anything and he'll probably nod to show that he sees where I'm coming from before providing his own views on the matter.

The opposite also holds true - Grant, as far as I can tell, doesn't really censor himself whenever we have conversations and as a result, we tend to get places in our conversations. And you'd be surprised at how much more productive your conversations are when you're not holding back. If I were to pinpoint a definitive period in which we really consolidated our friendship, it would have to be during the first semester of first year. University was a new experience for the both of us and aside from living our own lives, we would also live each other's lives vicariously through email exchanges. I think it was the first time in my life that I had known someone who actually cared to hear about the things I had to say about love, life, and music.

Like Brett, Grant is capable of seeing the humor in life. One of the reasons why Grant is awesome is because you can share anything on the emotional spectrum with him and he'll probably be able to relate to you. If something horrible is happening in life, I can always be sure that Grant will empathize. Likewise, if something hilarious happens, I can always be sure that he'll find the joke funny too. His emotional quotient is off the charts and that's pretty awesome if you're the kind of person who needs to feel connected to someone before you can talk to them.

In the end, the best thing about Grant is that he understand how important it is to be a fundamentally good person. I mean, I know lots of people who are fundamentally good guys but Grant is one of the few people I know who has constantly led a life where making the "right" decision and being a "nice guy" has never been automatic or the default choice. He's one of the few people you will meet who understands - truly understands - not only why it's important to make the right decisions in life, but also why it's so easy to make the wrong ones. Most importantly, he understands this without turning his nose up at people who make bad decisions.

In our society, we go crazy over people who are famous - whether it's for their talents in music, acting, professional sports, what have you... and part of that is because we look up to and admire their abilities. "Man, to be able to write that song/play that role/hit 50 home runs, that's pretty incredible," we say to ourselves. And of course, those feats are pretty incredible. But you know what's even more incredible? Being a good person: being faithful to your partner; not taking advantage of others; being kind and considerate and open-minded; understanding that there are other people who - like you - are just trying to get by in the world. If you take these things for granted, think about all the sleazy people at your seedy, underground bars; think of the multi-billion dollar drug industry; think of all the racism and violence and crime; think about the cheating spouses and divorce rates; think about all the people who cut you off on the road; think of all the people in the world who make the wrong choices; who are making the wrong choices right now.

Being hedonistic and giving into what you want, regardless of the cost, is not something that no one in their right mind would do. Grant is someone who understands this better than anyone I know. And yet, when faced with the choice, Grant has always decided to be a good person. And it's not because he considers the alternatives to be "below" him. Rather, they are simply paths he has chosen not to follow because he understands that ultimately, the constant battle to hold onto the good is the only battle in life worth being proud of.