In fourth year, I celebrated my birthday. Doing this was not entirely par for the course; on numerous years, this did not happen (and, at the time of writing this, hasn't happened for the past 3 years). For some reason, during that particular year at Queen's, I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who not only knew my date of birth, but also wanted to acknowledge said date in a more celebratory fashion than winning the "who had the most wall posts today" contest. Among these people was Justin Goddard. I remember that we went to QP on the actual night my birthday (Thursday) and he bought me a pint of beer. For some reason, this event stands out in my mind because... I guess simply because it doesn't happen most years and it was the first real sign (that I picked up on) that Goddard was not simply an acquaintance, but an actual friend.
Justin Goddard is one of the kindest, most considerate people I have ever met. In fact, he may very well be the kindest and most considerate person I have ever met. He's always happy to see or hear from you and you just feel warmth and goodwill emanating from him all the time. Karen was actually the one who really drew my attention to the word "kind" to describe Goddard and it really is the best word there is. My mother used to read me The Big Book of Kindness (or something that sounds like that) when I was a child and I'm pretty sure Goddard embodies all those characteristics.
Related to the idea of kindness is the fact that Goddard also has a strong sense of empathy. He considers how people might feel and I've never known him to be insensitive of other people's feelings.
Goddard is a deep-thinker and I love deep thinkers. I can talk about all sorts of crazy thoughts and realizations I have about love, life, eternity, and relationships and I have yet to discuss a topic with Goddard on which he cannot contribute. This is key. I mean, it's one thing to listen sympathetically to me while I ramble on about some universal idea; it's quite another to add another perspective or draw another link on the same topic. Because of this, Goddard is always ready to provide alternative interpretations or point out flaws in my thoughts and this makes him a rare and invaluable conversationalist.
Goddard is also hilarious. I suppose on some level, he feels shame (I think), but Goddard always embraces awkward moments and isn't afraid of self-deprecating humor. One of my other favorite Goddard moments is the occasion where he fellated a banana in Leonard cafeteria. Upon noticing a wide-eyed stranger staring at him from two seats down, he turned and said hello to her while Courtney and I killed ourselves laughing.
Goddard is part fish. He's one of the most amazing people I've ever known. He's the kind of guy you meet and you say to yourself, "God, I hope I still know him when I'm 80," because as far as friends (and people) go, he's the best there is.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Lucia
When I was in fourth year, I followed a ritual on Thursday where every minute of my day was accounted for. I woke up, went to class, had lunch, went to more class, and then took a nap until exactly 5:30 when I would meet Lois for dinner. Following dinner I would always stroll down to Lucia's room and hang out until I left for badminton (which start at 8:45). Badminton went until 11:30 and I'd return to residence, shower, and pass out (or assist a drunken frosh of some sort). I always looked forward to Thursdays because I did everything on autopilot and I was childishly pleased when Lucia began to expect me on Thursday evenings as well. We would just shoot the shit for awhile and I look back on those Thursday evenings fondly as a bonding experience.
Lucia and I actually have a bit of indirect history. I was in the same class as her brother in grade 8 and though I had never really talked to him (I didn't talk to anyone in my class back then), it was a good jumping off point for our friendship. Well, that and the fact that she was my don. I still, to this day, don't know why they placed me on a first-year floor when I was in fourth year but there you have it. In the end, the most positive thing about being on Gord 2 was that I got to hang out with Lucia, who's pretty cool.
Well, she's more than pretty cool. Lucia's a great don. She made the effort to plan events and say hi to everyone on the floor. She also made time for people who needed to talk so you know... you could say, "Oh, it's her job after all" but I've heard of a lot of dons who get away with doing a lot less. You should never take these things for granted - just because it's someone's "job" doesn't necessarily mean that they're going to a "great" job so I've always been thankful when people did their jobs well. And Lucia was great at doing hers.
I like that Lucia makes time for me when I'm home in Markham. She always encourages me to do things that make me happy or try something different if I tell her I'm considering it. I've always found an inherent honesty in the way Lucia expresses herself. It's hard to describe but I've always feel like Lucia says things the way they are (or the way she sees them) and maybe that's why I like talking to her.
I also stood her up this one time - it's the only time I've ever stood anyone up (I think). Seriously... she called me in the morning and I was groggy and stuff... I had completely forgotten that we were supposed to get coffee at Second Cup. But she was really nice about it so I've always appreciated the way she handled that situation. Thankfully, the Second Cup was like 10 minutes away from my house so I got there in good time.
So yeah... Lucia's pretty awesome.
Lucia and I actually have a bit of indirect history. I was in the same class as her brother in grade 8 and though I had never really talked to him (I didn't talk to anyone in my class back then), it was a good jumping off point for our friendship. Well, that and the fact that she was my don. I still, to this day, don't know why they placed me on a first-year floor when I was in fourth year but there you have it. In the end, the most positive thing about being on Gord 2 was that I got to hang out with Lucia, who's pretty cool.
Well, she's more than pretty cool. Lucia's a great don. She made the effort to plan events and say hi to everyone on the floor. She also made time for people who needed to talk so you know... you could say, "Oh, it's her job after all" but I've heard of a lot of dons who get away with doing a lot less. You should never take these things for granted - just because it's someone's "job" doesn't necessarily mean that they're going to a "great" job so I've always been thankful when people did their jobs well. And Lucia was great at doing hers.
I like that Lucia makes time for me when I'm home in Markham. She always encourages me to do things that make me happy or try something different if I tell her I'm considering it. I've always found an inherent honesty in the way Lucia expresses herself. It's hard to describe but I've always feel like Lucia says things the way they are (or the way she sees them) and maybe that's why I like talking to her.
I also stood her up this one time - it's the only time I've ever stood anyone up (I think). Seriously... she called me in the morning and I was groggy and stuff... I had completely forgotten that we were supposed to get coffee at Second Cup. But she was really nice about it so I've always appreciated the way she handled that situation. Thankfully, the Second Cup was like 10 minutes away from my house so I got there in good time.
So yeah... Lucia's pretty awesome.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Pearl
Pearl and I were down at The Beach(es) this one time and were sitting on an outcrop of rocks by the water. I remember at one point deciding to lie down because I simply got tired of sitting. As I began to lie down, I simultaneously realized in my head that this was probably a bad idea because even before I was fully laid down, I knew that the sun would be beating down on my face and I also knew that this would get really uncomfortable really fast. But there was nothing to be done! I was, after all, already in the process of lying down – the most I could do was enjoy my reclined position for 30 seconds before I would decide that I didn’t want to char my face to a crisp. All this passed through my head before I actually reached my final, fully reclined position on the rock. But just as I decided that I was an idiot, the sun mysteriously stopped beating down upon my face. Well, it wasn’t “mysterious” per se. I wasn’t really an idiot after all; I figured that Pearl had probably shifted her position and that she was now coincidentally blocking the sun out of my face. When I opened my eyes, I realized that it wasn’t a coincidence. Seeing that the sun was shining into my face, she had deliberately moved her head so that it was casting a shadow over said face. And as I looked up at her and realized that she was making a concerted effort not to move her head, I knew, right then, that she was the kind of person we need more of in society.
I love telling this story about Pearl because I think it demonstrates perfectly a quality that Pearl has that I admire immensely. And that is simply this: Pearl thinks about other people. She considers other people's feelings and recognizes that sometimes, it's better to make small sacrifices if it means that other people don't have to make big ones. It's hard for me to express the degree to which I admire this about her because I haven't had a lot of practice; it's that rare of a quality.
But I mean, that's understandably so. I haven't ever faulted people for putting themselves before others as long as it doesn't result in harming said others. It's one thing to be self-centered to the point of being inconsiderate; it's another to be egoistic where you simply don't take the extra step to ensure that you're looking out for others. Sure it would be nice if people didn't just settle for the latter but I've never insisted, on any moral grounds, that lacking the drive to be better makes you a terrible human being. But I digress...
The point is, that while I don't necessarily condemn people who are egoists, I do admire those of us who stop and consider other people when making decisions and Pearl is someone who usually does this. From suggesting that we eat at Demetres because she knows I like "white people" desserts to deflecting the conversation towards a "whole group" consideration whenever I try to focus our choices on her preferences... every time I notice this quality about her, it reminds me that is amazing and is a friend worth holding onto.
I would like to quote something I once wrote about Pearl (as part of a separate discussion) that I think is instructive:
"I remember one when I had called her [Pearl] during a time when she was horrifically sick and had lost her voice. She whispered into the phone that she was in a beaten state and that she would talk to me later. Fair enough. But then I got a text message from her literally 2 minutes after I put down the phone, telling me that she appreciated the call. And I realized that this was something that, once upon a time, I could conceivably have seen myself doing – but somewhere along the line, I (and many others – thanks Neil Strauss) had gotten used to the idea that such displays of appreciation were over-the-top; that letting people know that you appreciate their attention meant that you were needy; and that the surest way to seem cool was to make it seem like you were the one who was always doing the other person a favor by giving them the time of the day. And while I had never fully bought into these philosophies, I realized that I had given into them to the extent that I thought that that was how everyone wanted the world to be like when really, no one wanted this at all – we were just too scared of losing our mojo by admitting that we could occasionally be on the receiving end of personal favors and attention."
I've always joked with Pearl that it sometimes seems like we were brought up with completely different experiences and under different cultural norms. Now I'm thinking that maybe that's not such a bad thing. And while I regularly poke fun at her for not knowing some things that I consider to be cultural juggernauts, this is something I would gladly trade if it meant that some of her values were inherently part of the culture in which she was raised.
Other good points... well, Pearl is good at badminton (always a plus), has a good sense of humor, and isn't afraid to call me out when some of my flaws exhibit themselves. She's internally consistent, isn't flaky, and is kind-hearted towards children and the elderly. She also thinks skinny jeans look kinda stupid (they do!) and I have thanked the heavens on several occasions that she never bought into that fad.
I love telling this story about Pearl because I think it demonstrates perfectly a quality that Pearl has that I admire immensely. And that is simply this: Pearl thinks about other people. She considers other people's feelings and recognizes that sometimes, it's better to make small sacrifices if it means that other people don't have to make big ones. It's hard for me to express the degree to which I admire this about her because I haven't had a lot of practice; it's that rare of a quality.
But I mean, that's understandably so. I haven't ever faulted people for putting themselves before others as long as it doesn't result in harming said others. It's one thing to be self-centered to the point of being inconsiderate; it's another to be egoistic where you simply don't take the extra step to ensure that you're looking out for others. Sure it would be nice if people didn't just settle for the latter but I've never insisted, on any moral grounds, that lacking the drive to be better makes you a terrible human being. But I digress...
The point is, that while I don't necessarily condemn people who are egoists, I do admire those of us who stop and consider other people when making decisions and Pearl is someone who usually does this. From suggesting that we eat at Demetres because she knows I like "white people" desserts to deflecting the conversation towards a "whole group" consideration whenever I try to focus our choices on her preferences... every time I notice this quality about her, it reminds me that is amazing and is a friend worth holding onto.
I would like to quote something I once wrote about Pearl (as part of a separate discussion) that I think is instructive:
"I remember one when I had called her [Pearl] during a time when she was horrifically sick and had lost her voice. She whispered into the phone that she was in a beaten state and that she would talk to me later. Fair enough. But then I got a text message from her literally 2 minutes after I put down the phone, telling me that she appreciated the call. And I realized that this was something that, once upon a time, I could conceivably have seen myself doing – but somewhere along the line, I (and many others – thanks Neil Strauss) had gotten used to the idea that such displays of appreciation were over-the-top; that letting people know that you appreciate their attention meant that you were needy; and that the surest way to seem cool was to make it seem like you were the one who was always doing the other person a favor by giving them the time of the day. And while I had never fully bought into these philosophies, I realized that I had given into them to the extent that I thought that that was how everyone wanted the world to be like when really, no one wanted this at all – we were just too scared of losing our mojo by admitting that we could occasionally be on the receiving end of personal favors and attention."
I've always joked with Pearl that it sometimes seems like we were brought up with completely different experiences and under different cultural norms. Now I'm thinking that maybe that's not such a bad thing. And while I regularly poke fun at her for not knowing some things that I consider to be cultural juggernauts, this is something I would gladly trade if it meant that some of her values were inherently part of the culture in which she was raised.
Other good points... well, Pearl is good at badminton (always a plus), has a good sense of humor, and isn't afraid to call me out when some of my flaws exhibit themselves. She's internally consistent, isn't flaky, and is kind-hearted towards children and the elderly. She also thinks skinny jeans look kinda stupid (they do!) and I have thanked the heavens on several occasions that she never bought into that fad.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
David
Once during fourth year David came up to Queen's to visit along with Karen. I had another friend, coincidentally also named David (but whom I shall refer to as "Dave" for clarity sake), who was in the habit of taking certain Conservative values to an extreme in order to see how uncomfortable he could make people (he had a certain diabolical streak in this way). Dave was unaware, however, that David had a habit of parroting everything you said (it's one of his social oddities). As the story goes, Dave and David happened upon one another amidst a conversation about seal-preservation. The story goes something like this:
Dave: "You know what I think we should do? We should just kill off all the seals."
David: "Yeah, yeah! We'll just kill 'em all off!"
Dave: "..."
Dave was later quoted as saying that he had no idea what was happening during that particular stretch of conversation.
David is weird. I've known him since we were in grade 2 and sometimes I wonder how we managed to stay friends for so long. I guess part of it has to do with the sheer amount of history we have together. It's interesting to note how common interests can cease to be important so long as you have enough history over which to reminisce. Nonetheless, David possesses several qualities that I think are worth noting.
David is super out-going and super friendly. He can make friends with literally anyone and has a good sense of humor. He will also say very sympathetic things to you if you're angry and frustrated about something. I think this comes from his diplomatic personality and sometimes, it's just nice to have someone tell you that you're right about everything, even if you may not be.
One of his more interesting quirks comes out when he's hanging out with people at someone's house. I only noticed this within the last year but as a way of getting the conversation ball rolling, David will start listing objects he sees in the room in which he is sitting. When I first noticed this habit, I thought it was incredibly odd, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it is actually an effective way of getting people to talk. The thing is, now that I've noticed it, it's just funny to watch because people never realize what he's doing.
One last thing that I particularly like about David is that he always makes the effort to seek you out and contact you every so often. He's one of the few people I know who calls me to hang out more often than I do in return. Considering how much I despise flakiness, this is one of those things about David that I try not to take for granted.
Dave: "You know what I think we should do? We should just kill off all the seals."
David: "Yeah, yeah! We'll just kill 'em all off!"
Dave: "..."
Dave was later quoted as saying that he had no idea what was happening during that particular stretch of conversation.
David is weird. I've known him since we were in grade 2 and sometimes I wonder how we managed to stay friends for so long. I guess part of it has to do with the sheer amount of history we have together. It's interesting to note how common interests can cease to be important so long as you have enough history over which to reminisce. Nonetheless, David possesses several qualities that I think are worth noting.
David is super out-going and super friendly. He can make friends with literally anyone and has a good sense of humor. He will also say very sympathetic things to you if you're angry and frustrated about something. I think this comes from his diplomatic personality and sometimes, it's just nice to have someone tell you that you're right about everything, even if you may not be.
One of his more interesting quirks comes out when he's hanging out with people at someone's house. I only noticed this within the last year but as a way of getting the conversation ball rolling, David will start listing objects he sees in the room in which he is sitting. When I first noticed this habit, I thought it was incredibly odd, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it is actually an effective way of getting people to talk. The thing is, now that I've noticed it, it's just funny to watch because people never realize what he's doing.
One last thing that I particularly like about David is that he always makes the effort to seek you out and contact you every so often. He's one of the few people I know who calls me to hang out more often than I do in return. Considering how much I despise flakiness, this is one of those things about David that I try not to take for granted.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Ted
I have nothing good to say about Ted!!!
Actually, there are plenty of things. When I was in fourth year, I went through this horrifying epoch in my life that involved some girl I was interested in. It was horrifying for many reasons but the point here is that shortly after the entire incident unfolded, I found myself at Ale House Canteen drinking (with Ted, of all people!). Up until that point in my life, I had really only regarded Ted as a giant, huggable... thing. After all, the most memorable event I had associated with Ted was that he gave me a giant hug at the end of first year despite not knowing me very well. Still, I was drinking and unhappy about my life so I decided to hint, delicately (or as delicately as I could in my drunken stupor) to Ted that my life was not going so well. Ted was surprisingly sympathetic and I think it was in that moment that I realized that maybe Ted was a pretty good guy after all.
Ted can solve a rubik's cube. You know... just throwing that out there...
One of my favorite things about Ted is that he laughs at dumb jokes. Of course, being an intellectual elitist, the floor for "dumb" in my estimation may be slightly higher than usual. Nonetheless, I find that Ted always laughs at things that I consider funny, which is great because it makes me sound funnier than I actually am. He also gets the smart jokes too! Basically, Ted can see the humor in anything! Having someone around with this great sense of humor is always a plus - especially if that humor applies to a wide band of subjects.
Along the same lines, Ted is constantly amazed by everything around him. Every time I stumble upon something interesting on the internet, I always feel the need to share my discoveries and it's comforting to know that Ted will usually find it interesting too. We were joking once about how people aren't as amazed at air-travel as they probably should be. After all, you're flying through the air... like a bird... and doing so at remarkably high speeds. Ted mentioned that he is one of the few people who finds flying cool.
I guess, at the heart of everything, is the fact that Ted is like a big kid. I've ranted before about how we lose touch with things as we grow older because we get used/become desensitized to all the amazing things that are happening around us. Ted, fortunately, has not lost touch with this sense of wonder and this makes him a lot of fun to be around. He's interesting because he is capable of being interest-ed in practically anything so long as he's introduced to it by the right person.
Ted is a very optimistic person. He's good at encouraging you and tries to get you see the positive side of things. At the same time, he is also sympathetic, which makes him a pretty good person to talk to if you're feeling horrible about your life. On top of that, he always seems like he's happy to see/hear from you - actually, a better word would be "excited." Ted always seems like he's excited to see/hear from you, and very often he is. I've always found it hilarious that his name is Teddy because he reminds me of a giant teddy bear (something he actually owns). He will make the conscious effort to visit you, even if he's living in some faraway land, and you have to appreciate any friend who will drive 6 hours to visit.
Personally, I've always appreciated how Ted is able to consistently schedule me into his week via skype. He is one of the few people whose done this consistently (weekly) and he never cancels without an offer to reschedule at some point. Considering my isolated existence this past year, I have really come to appreciate a friend who is willing to do this on a regular basis.
At the end of the day, Ted is simply a really good friend. If you went through and defined all the things you expect a friend to do Ted probably hits every mark. I have come to realize that this kind of friendship is rare in this day and age (or perhaps it has always been rare) and that is what makes me glad to know him.
Actually, there are plenty of things. When I was in fourth year, I went through this horrifying epoch in my life that involved some girl I was interested in. It was horrifying for many reasons but the point here is that shortly after the entire incident unfolded, I found myself at Ale House Canteen drinking (with Ted, of all people!). Up until that point in my life, I had really only regarded Ted as a giant, huggable... thing. After all, the most memorable event I had associated with Ted was that he gave me a giant hug at the end of first year despite not knowing me very well. Still, I was drinking and unhappy about my life so I decided to hint, delicately (or as delicately as I could in my drunken stupor) to Ted that my life was not going so well. Ted was surprisingly sympathetic and I think it was in that moment that I realized that maybe Ted was a pretty good guy after all.
Ted can solve a rubik's cube. You know... just throwing that out there...
One of my favorite things about Ted is that he laughs at dumb jokes. Of course, being an intellectual elitist, the floor for "dumb" in my estimation may be slightly higher than usual. Nonetheless, I find that Ted always laughs at things that I consider funny, which is great because it makes me sound funnier than I actually am. He also gets the smart jokes too! Basically, Ted can see the humor in anything! Having someone around with this great sense of humor is always a plus - especially if that humor applies to a wide band of subjects.
Along the same lines, Ted is constantly amazed by everything around him. Every time I stumble upon something interesting on the internet, I always feel the need to share my discoveries and it's comforting to know that Ted will usually find it interesting too. We were joking once about how people aren't as amazed at air-travel as they probably should be. After all, you're flying through the air... like a bird... and doing so at remarkably high speeds. Ted mentioned that he is one of the few people who finds flying cool.
I guess, at the heart of everything, is the fact that Ted is like a big kid. I've ranted before about how we lose touch with things as we grow older because we get used/become desensitized to all the amazing things that are happening around us. Ted, fortunately, has not lost touch with this sense of wonder and this makes him a lot of fun to be around. He's interesting because he is capable of being interest-ed in practically anything so long as he's introduced to it by the right person.
Ted is a very optimistic person. He's good at encouraging you and tries to get you see the positive side of things. At the same time, he is also sympathetic, which makes him a pretty good person to talk to if you're feeling horrible about your life. On top of that, he always seems like he's happy to see/hear from you - actually, a better word would be "excited." Ted always seems like he's excited to see/hear from you, and very often he is. I've always found it hilarious that his name is Teddy because he reminds me of a giant teddy bear (something he actually owns). He will make the conscious effort to visit you, even if he's living in some faraway land, and you have to appreciate any friend who will drive 6 hours to visit.
Personally, I've always appreciated how Ted is able to consistently schedule me into his week via skype. He is one of the few people whose done this consistently (weekly) and he never cancels without an offer to reschedule at some point. Considering my isolated existence this past year, I have really come to appreciate a friend who is willing to do this on a regular basis.
At the end of the day, Ted is simply a really good friend. If you went through and defined all the things you expect a friend to do Ted probably hits every mark. I have come to realize that this kind of friendship is rare in this day and age (or perhaps it has always been rare) and that is what makes me glad to know him.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Steve
Steve and a friend once joined me during breakfast, one morning in the cafeteria. I had no idea who his friend was but we all had breakfast together and engaged in your usual breakfast banter. Somewhere along the line, Steve mentioned that we know each other from the Queen's badminton club. His friend then asked me, "Are you better than Steve?" to which I laughed and replied, "Of course not." You see, Steve was once ranked something like 7th in all of Canada and had been training since he was 4. However, it was this junction that Steve shrugged and added, "We're not that far apart... Jon's probably the second or third best player in the club." To this day, I remember that conversation being the point in my life when I started to enjoy the sport to the extent that I do today.
Steve was one of those super-star kids back in school who was athletic, good-looking, smart, and had good taste in music and culture. The most significant thing about him, though, is that he manages to be all that while remaining friendly and level-headed. I've never known Steve to get mad at his partner on court, which is a lot harder than it sounds when you've made all the plays you're supposed to make, but find yourself losing games because of shoddy play from said partner. He'll lend his stuff out to people who forget to bring their own equipment and isn't an elitist about needing to use "his" racquet or playing with perfect shuttles.
I've always tried to emulate Steve's attitude towards the game because it's a style that maximizes the amount of fun he gets out of it. Playing with less than optimal equipment or playing under less than optimal environments never frustrates him - he just adjusts his shots accordingly and to be able to do that is something that I admire about him. Of course, the fact that he is able to make these adjustments so easily is a tribute to how good he is at the sport. To get to where he is must have taken years of practice and dedication and that is always something to respect in someone.
Steve was one of those super-star kids back in school who was athletic, good-looking, smart, and had good taste in music and culture. The most significant thing about him, though, is that he manages to be all that while remaining friendly and level-headed. I've never known Steve to get mad at his partner on court, which is a lot harder than it sounds when you've made all the plays you're supposed to make, but find yourself losing games because of shoddy play from said partner. He'll lend his stuff out to people who forget to bring their own equipment and isn't an elitist about needing to use "his" racquet or playing with perfect shuttles.
I've always tried to emulate Steve's attitude towards the game because it's a style that maximizes the amount of fun he gets out of it. Playing with less than optimal equipment or playing under less than optimal environments never frustrates him - he just adjusts his shots accordingly and to be able to do that is something that I admire about him. Of course, the fact that he is able to make these adjustments so easily is a tribute to how good he is at the sport. To get to where he is must have taken years of practice and dedication and that is always something to respect in someone.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Quynh
In my last year at Queen's, I met Quynh at a residence staff dinner way back during training week and was told that she was the senior don of the building in which I would be living. That was par for the course - I ran into/met a lot of people that week. But here's the thing. The very next time I saw her, Quynh greeted me like she had known me for years. It took me by surprise because I simply did not expect such friendliness from someone, even if she WAS a senior don (I mean, hey, Dave was a senior don and he was Grumpy MaGee for most of the year until he stopped being single). That being said, I will always remember the kind of warmth that emanated from Quynh, even though I still, to this day, don't know her very well.
But that's the thing with Quynh! Every time I see her, she always sounds like she's thrilled to see me. She's kind, she's sympathetic, she's got a good sense of humor - she would have been an awesome don for whoever lived on her floor. I don't have too much to say about Quynh since we haven't known each other for very long (nor do we know each other particularly well) but this blog simply wouldn't be complete without her.
There are some people in this world who just... radiate warmth. Quynh is one of these people and I wanted to pay tribute to this rare and wonderful quality she has. I may not know very much about Quynh other than the fact that she HAS this trait but this - this outgoing display of care and sympathy - is enough to vault her into the awesome stratosphere.
But that's the thing with Quynh! Every time I see her, she always sounds like she's thrilled to see me. She's kind, she's sympathetic, she's got a good sense of humor - she would have been an awesome don for whoever lived on her floor. I don't have too much to say about Quynh since we haven't known each other for very long (nor do we know each other particularly well) but this blog simply wouldn't be complete without her.
There are some people in this world who just... radiate warmth. Quynh is one of these people and I wanted to pay tribute to this rare and wonderful quality she has. I may not know very much about Quynh other than the fact that she HAS this trait but this - this outgoing display of care and sympathy - is enough to vault her into the awesome stratosphere.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Ron
2 badminton players in a row! My favorite Ron moment occurred this past summer when we were playing badminton and a he missed an easy shot because he lost concentration. Upon losing the point, he turned to me and proclaimed, "Not enough grit!!!" For some reason, this remark has always made me chuckle when I think about it, partially because it reminds me of a conversation we once had about how you can make up for lack of talent with "grit" and because it also reminds me of how Ron doesn't take the game too seriously.
One of Ron's greatest traits is the aforementioned "not taking the game too seriously" attitude he has towards badminton. That's not to say that he goofs off or doesn't try to win; he just always has fun while he's doing it and you know, that's something that a lot of people who play competitive sports forget from time to time (myself included). This is especially common when you go through phases where you suck (and everyone has those phases). I see a lot of people play the game and simply not look like they have very much fun while they're at it because they're constantly disappointed at their own game or their partner's. These are the times when I sometimes think to myself, "You know, you're kinda missing the point here."
Ron has always recognized this about playing badminton: fun should be first and foremost. This is especially true when you're not competing in tournaments. This, I think, is the reason why people like playing with him (me included). It's a reflection of his general good humor and fun-loving attitude towards life. He's the student in your class who probably goofs off a lot but does so in a way that's more entertaining than annoying. I suspect that Ron will be a bit of a party animal in university but I won't really know for sure until he starts next year. For now, I just really like how he manages to enjoy the sport without letting his concentration lapse to the point of making careless mistakes. That's a balance that very few people can achieve.
One of Ron's greatest traits is the aforementioned "not taking the game too seriously" attitude he has towards badminton. That's not to say that he goofs off or doesn't try to win; he just always has fun while he's doing it and you know, that's something that a lot of people who play competitive sports forget from time to time (myself included). This is especially common when you go through phases where you suck (and everyone has those phases). I see a lot of people play the game and simply not look like they have very much fun while they're at it because they're constantly disappointed at their own game or their partner's. These are the times when I sometimes think to myself, "You know, you're kinda missing the point here."
Ron has always recognized this about playing badminton: fun should be first and foremost. This is especially true when you're not competing in tournaments. This, I think, is the reason why people like playing with him (me included). It's a reflection of his general good humor and fun-loving attitude towards life. He's the student in your class who probably goofs off a lot but does so in a way that's more entertaining than annoying. I suspect that Ron will be a bit of a party animal in university but I won't really know for sure until he starts next year. For now, I just really like how he manages to enjoy the sport without letting his concentration lapse to the point of making careless mistakes. That's a balance that very few people can achieve.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Athena
I was at badminton one time and did the usual Sunday-morning badminton routine: sit around on my arse for about an hour before actually getting up and playing a few games. Athena was among the group of people with whom I normally play and we played about as well as we usually did. Lunch time rolled around and Athena suddenly developed a craving for a burger (oddly enough for an aspiring vegetarian) and thus turned to her mum to ask if they could go. Her mum says "Burger King?" looks around, sees me, turns back to her daughter and says, "Well, you can ask Jon if he's willing to take you to Burger King."
For some reason, that incident always makes me consider how recreational sports can ignore age gaps that are generally more unheard of when we're in school. Athena's 17 - probably the youngest among every I consider a friend - but we first started playing badminton together when she was 15 (I was 21 at the time). You see, it's funny how you get lumped into the "kids" category when you're part of a badminton club because really, you're categorized based on your style of play; and really, from the age of 12 to probably your mid-late 20s, your style is the same: "fast". And as long as your parents are part of the same "generation," then the two of you are, technically, part of the same generation too.
Athena is a quirky sort of person and this personality actually comes through on the court, though it's hard to explain unless you're actually watching the game in progress. She's carries these wonderful quirks off the court too and she has the way of being intensely passionate about some topics without actually being loud about it - a subdued sort of passion, if you will - and I find it a nice quality about her. It's like you can always get an idea of the things that are important to her without feeling like she's being aggressive about it.
She plans on going to Queen's next year - always a sign of good decision making skills.
Athena also has this quality that - if I am to believe my mum - is very much like how my dad shows that he cares about someone. Athena isn't really the kind of person who outright shows emotion or tells you that she's happy to see you or that she misses you. However, if you take notice of her actions, she always has a way of showing you that she's happy to be around you - whether that is something as simple as asking you to do something with her or delaying her departure until you're ready to leave too. She really is one of those actions-speak-louder-than-words people - but you have to notice her actions to understand this. Once people do, I think you'd come to see that she's a kind, quirky, and charming person who - in her own quiet way - is capable of an enormous amount of empathy. Just talk to her about a sad situation and you'll see what I mean.
Did I mention she's pretty good at badminton? Yeah, that's a rare quality in girls. Just sayin'
For some reason, that incident always makes me consider how recreational sports can ignore age gaps that are generally more unheard of when we're in school. Athena's 17 - probably the youngest among every I consider a friend - but we first started playing badminton together when she was 15 (I was 21 at the time). You see, it's funny how you get lumped into the "kids" category when you're part of a badminton club because really, you're categorized based on your style of play; and really, from the age of 12 to probably your mid-late 20s, your style is the same: "fast". And as long as your parents are part of the same "generation," then the two of you are, technically, part of the same generation too.
Athena is a quirky sort of person and this personality actually comes through on the court, though it's hard to explain unless you're actually watching the game in progress. She's carries these wonderful quirks off the court too and she has the way of being intensely passionate about some topics without actually being loud about it - a subdued sort of passion, if you will - and I find it a nice quality about her. It's like you can always get an idea of the things that are important to her without feeling like she's being aggressive about it.
She plans on going to Queen's next year - always a sign of good decision making skills.
Athena also has this quality that - if I am to believe my mum - is very much like how my dad shows that he cares about someone. Athena isn't really the kind of person who outright shows emotion or tells you that she's happy to see you or that she misses you. However, if you take notice of her actions, she always has a way of showing you that she's happy to be around you - whether that is something as simple as asking you to do something with her or delaying her departure until you're ready to leave too. She really is one of those actions-speak-louder-than-words people - but you have to notice her actions to understand this. Once people do, I think you'd come to see that she's a kind, quirky, and charming person who - in her own quiet way - is capable of an enormous amount of empathy. Just talk to her about a sad situation and you'll see what I mean.
Did I mention she's pretty good at badminton? Yeah, that's a rare quality in girls. Just sayin'
Friday, March 18, 2011
Rosanne
When I think back to my days in high school, I would have to say that I probably interacted with Rosanne more than any other person. It surprises me a little to consider this but I guess she was just always quietly there. She shared most of my classes with me (sat with me in a good number of them save for Grade 12 World Issues); hung out with me between classes, at lunch, and sometimes after school; and on top of that (here's the kicker), I think I spoke to her on MOST weeknights via MSN messenger. MSN messenger has died out in large part due to the advent of facebook but back in high school, I recall it being a pretty big thing - this idea of being able converse with someone in real time without hearing their voice or seeing their face.
It's tempting to simply write a giant story about what Rosanne and I went through when we were in high school. I might do that someday but I think, for now, that I ought to stick with the purpose of this blog: why Rosanne is awesome.
Well, Rosanne is probably the sweetest girl you will ever meet. I think I once said that Rosanne was so sweet, she could rot teeth although I don't know if that's exactly the kind of compliment you should be giving a girl when you were in high school. Congratulations, you have something in common with gingivitis. But in all seriousness, Rosanne was just... the nicest, sweetest girl you could ever meet. Never had a mean thing to say about anyone but still somehow managed to be sympathetic to all the things I ranted about (even back in high school, I did this quite often). Everyone in the school loved her - students and teachers alike.
Speaking of teachers and why they loved her, Rosanne was probably the best student in our entire grade. She's smart, works super hard, and is generally one of those students who, as a teacher, you hoped you had in your class every year. I think the only class we took together in which I got a higher mark than her was Phys. Ed... and we took a lot of classes together through our four years of high school.
Rosanne was also a curious person. It's hard to explain but I was once hanging out in the halls with my friend David when Rosanne passed by and greeted us on the way to her locker. When she was gone, David promptly turned to me and said, "What a funny little girl..." And it was true, you know? Rosanne had these funny little quirks that you didn't always notice because she was quiet. It wasn't just the things she said... for example, Rosanne was the only person I ever knew who managed to keep the corners of her textbooks from bending inwards. It was truly baffling and something I never quite understood about her. It wasn't like she took noticeably better care of her books than I (or others) did. I mean, maybe she did, but if so, it seemed to be something that came naturally to her. Seriously, she could use a textbook for an entire semester and it would still be in pristine condition on the last day.
To this day, I am occasionally prone to ranting about what it means to be a "nice guy" and how our society seems to have problems coming to terms with what this means. Well, if I had to think of who epitomizes a "nice girl," I would think of Rosanne. I think that pretty much sums it up.
It's tempting to simply write a giant story about what Rosanne and I went through when we were in high school. I might do that someday but I think, for now, that I ought to stick with the purpose of this blog: why Rosanne is awesome.
Well, Rosanne is probably the sweetest girl you will ever meet. I think I once said that Rosanne was so sweet, she could rot teeth although I don't know if that's exactly the kind of compliment you should be giving a girl when you were in high school. Congratulations, you have something in common with gingivitis. But in all seriousness, Rosanne was just... the nicest, sweetest girl you could ever meet. Never had a mean thing to say about anyone but still somehow managed to be sympathetic to all the things I ranted about (even back in high school, I did this quite often). Everyone in the school loved her - students and teachers alike.
Speaking of teachers and why they loved her, Rosanne was probably the best student in our entire grade. She's smart, works super hard, and is generally one of those students who, as a teacher, you hoped you had in your class every year. I think the only class we took together in which I got a higher mark than her was Phys. Ed... and we took a lot of classes together through our four years of high school.
Rosanne was also a curious person. It's hard to explain but I was once hanging out in the halls with my friend David when Rosanne passed by and greeted us on the way to her locker. When she was gone, David promptly turned to me and said, "What a funny little girl..." And it was true, you know? Rosanne had these funny little quirks that you didn't always notice because she was quiet. It wasn't just the things she said... for example, Rosanne was the only person I ever knew who managed to keep the corners of her textbooks from bending inwards. It was truly baffling and something I never quite understood about her. It wasn't like she took noticeably better care of her books than I (or others) did. I mean, maybe she did, but if so, it seemed to be something that came naturally to her. Seriously, she could use a textbook for an entire semester and it would still be in pristine condition on the last day.
To this day, I am occasionally prone to ranting about what it means to be a "nice guy" and how our society seems to have problems coming to terms with what this means. Well, if I had to think of who epitomizes a "nice girl," I would think of Rosanne. I think that pretty much sums it up.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Jenny
Back when I was in fourth year, I was struck by the sheer number of people working in residence who were named Jenny (sheer number = 3). They were also all Asian and knew my friend Dave, which didn't help matters. Gradually, though, I began to associate certain general traits with each Jenny. There was this one particular Jenny who thought I was a don for the longest time - in fact, it wasn't until sometime in second semester that she found out that I wasn't. Since then, she has repeatedly insisted that I "misled" her into believing that I was a don in a fourth year. Really, all I did was eat with dons who also happened to be my friends but apparently, this counts as me having taken some active role in "misleading" Jenny into thinking I was a don.
Jenny is extraordinarily resilient. As much as I (and others) take advantage of this as an opportunity to make fun of her, I do admire the ability she has to take everything in stride. Basically, she's a good sport who's capable of laughing at her own mistakes. After all, it wouldn't be much fun to tease Jenny if we actually hurt her feelings. But as it stands, her resilience makes Jenny a lot of fun to be around and I feel like the universe would be just a little bit duller without her.
For all that, Jenny is capable of being a very caring individual, as evidenced by her two successful years as a don in residence. I think that that was something that first got me to notice Jenny as someone I could actually be friends with. She takes the time to ask you about how things are going and although I've never personally experienced this, I am very much convinced that if our conversation ever moved beyond casual bantering, Jenny would be a very sympathetic listener.
She dresses well too - another thing I noticed about her. Residence cafeteria is not usually a place where you wear your best clothes. Not only are you risking the possibility of spilling something on it, but there is also a smell that gets all your clothes, although admittedly, I might be the only person who is actually bothered by this. Still, Jenny makes the effort to dress nicely (it is, after all, a public space and there's no reason to look like a slob), which, for awhile, confused me a bit. I remember asking, "Are you going somewhere?" every time I saw her because she always looked dressed up. I soon realized that this was rarely the case. Still, it never hurts to dress nicely.
Jenny also has a dog named ABFP (Angel-Baby-Furball-Pie). Saying "Ab-fuh-puh" brings joy to many and even though Jenny refuses to acknowledge the acronym, I feel like I should attribute all the happiness we derive, from saying ABFP, to her.
Jenny is extraordinarily resilient. As much as I (and others) take advantage of this as an opportunity to make fun of her, I do admire the ability she has to take everything in stride. Basically, she's a good sport who's capable of laughing at her own mistakes. After all, it wouldn't be much fun to tease Jenny if we actually hurt her feelings. But as it stands, her resilience makes Jenny a lot of fun to be around and I feel like the universe would be just a little bit duller without her.
For all that, Jenny is capable of being a very caring individual, as evidenced by her two successful years as a don in residence. I think that that was something that first got me to notice Jenny as someone I could actually be friends with. She takes the time to ask you about how things are going and although I've never personally experienced this, I am very much convinced that if our conversation ever moved beyond casual bantering, Jenny would be a very sympathetic listener.
She dresses well too - another thing I noticed about her. Residence cafeteria is not usually a place where you wear your best clothes. Not only are you risking the possibility of spilling something on it, but there is also a smell that gets all your clothes, although admittedly, I might be the only person who is actually bothered by this. Still, Jenny makes the effort to dress nicely (it is, after all, a public space and there's no reason to look like a slob), which, for awhile, confused me a bit. I remember asking, "Are you going somewhere?" every time I saw her because she always looked dressed up. I soon realized that this was rarely the case. Still, it never hurts to dress nicely.
Jenny also has a dog named ABFP (Angel-Baby-Furball-Pie). Saying "Ab-fuh-puh" brings joy to many and even though Jenny refuses to acknowledge the acronym, I feel like I should attribute all the happiness we derive, from saying ABFP, to her.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Mike
During second and third year university, I lived in a house with Mike (along with some other folk, with whom I did not get along). I had actually known Mike from the heydays of elementary school; we had been chums back then but went through a long period of non-communication until we discovered that we attended the same university. At any rate, despite the many crappy days I spent in second and third year, basking in the wake of what I now think was existential depression, I always looked forward to having a good meal with Mike. He and I usually had a good conversation at the dinner table, sandwiched between an efficient cooking/cleaning up system, and for many days, this was the only form of real social interaction I had with anyone. Looking back now, I am quite grateful for having these meals to look forward to. Goodness knows how unhappy I would have been without them.
While we're on the topic, I may as well mention that Mike is probably one of the best housemates anyone could ask for. Anyone who has lived with their friends in university will understand what I mean when I say that there's a difference between a good friend and a good housemate. Mike was a good friend, to be sure, but he was a tremendous housemate. He always did his share of the chores, never complained, paid his bills, was clean and for the most part, not loud. If I had to pick someone to live with based on co-habitation-compatibility alone, Mike would be the first person to come to mind.
In most aspects, Mike is a very different person than I. He's an engineer (that probably tells you enough), and from what he tells me, doesn't understand anything about women. That never seemed to get in the way of him having girlfriends so I assume there was some sort of redeeming quality to him as a boyfriend. One of these things was likely the fact that Mike is a fundamentally good person who is very considerate of other people's feelings. By his own admission, he doesn't understand them very often but he's considerate of them nonetheless. That takes a certain quality, you know, to be considerate of feelings you don't understand.
Mike is also extremely handy. He knows stuff about cars, computers, construction - anything you can take apart and put back together, Mike probably has a working knowledge of it. In other words, he's good at fixing things and it's not until things start to break that you appreciate just how nice it is to have someone around who can help you with whatever it is that's malfunctioning.
Personally, one of the things I love about Mike is that he's perfectly happy sitting on a back porch on a summer evening, drinking beer. I've never been the type of person who has to DO something when I'm with other people. I mean, it's nice to do stuff with your friends, don't get me wrong, but I've encountered many situations where I'm sitting with friends and relaxing when someone pipes up, "So... what do you guys wanna do?" In my head, my answer is usually, "Nothing! I just want to sit here and have random conversations!" but I can never bring myself to say this. It's pretty nice to know someone like Mike, with whom you don't have to plan on "doing" very much.
Also on a personal note, I like the fact that Mike loves being in a relationship but doesn't understand women. It's not a sadistic thing - I just think it's funny when he talks about things that his girlfriend - or a girl he likes - says or does and ponders about what it could possibly mean. In a way, though, I think Mike understands women better than he says he does, especially considering how much time and effort he puts into trying to say the right thing to them. Again, it's this sort of old-timey desire to "do right" by people that I think I like the most about Mike. He's a good guy - a good friend and a good housemate - but ultimately, a good guy.
While we're on the topic, I may as well mention that Mike is probably one of the best housemates anyone could ask for. Anyone who has lived with their friends in university will understand what I mean when I say that there's a difference between a good friend and a good housemate. Mike was a good friend, to be sure, but he was a tremendous housemate. He always did his share of the chores, never complained, paid his bills, was clean and for the most part, not loud. If I had to pick someone to live with based on co-habitation-compatibility alone, Mike would be the first person to come to mind.
In most aspects, Mike is a very different person than I. He's an engineer (that probably tells you enough), and from what he tells me, doesn't understand anything about women. That never seemed to get in the way of him having girlfriends so I assume there was some sort of redeeming quality to him as a boyfriend. One of these things was likely the fact that Mike is a fundamentally good person who is very considerate of other people's feelings. By his own admission, he doesn't understand them very often but he's considerate of them nonetheless. That takes a certain quality, you know, to be considerate of feelings you don't understand.
Mike is also extremely handy. He knows stuff about cars, computers, construction - anything you can take apart and put back together, Mike probably has a working knowledge of it. In other words, he's good at fixing things and it's not until things start to break that you appreciate just how nice it is to have someone around who can help you with whatever it is that's malfunctioning.
Personally, one of the things I love about Mike is that he's perfectly happy sitting on a back porch on a summer evening, drinking beer. I've never been the type of person who has to DO something when I'm with other people. I mean, it's nice to do stuff with your friends, don't get me wrong, but I've encountered many situations where I'm sitting with friends and relaxing when someone pipes up, "So... what do you guys wanna do?" In my head, my answer is usually, "Nothing! I just want to sit here and have random conversations!" but I can never bring myself to say this. It's pretty nice to know someone like Mike, with whom you don't have to plan on "doing" very much.
Also on a personal note, I like the fact that Mike loves being in a relationship but doesn't understand women. It's not a sadistic thing - I just think it's funny when he talks about things that his girlfriend - or a girl he likes - says or does and ponders about what it could possibly mean. In a way, though, I think Mike understands women better than he says he does, especially considering how much time and effort he puts into trying to say the right thing to them. Again, it's this sort of old-timey desire to "do right" by people that I think I like the most about Mike. He's a good guy - a good friend and a good housemate - but ultimately, a good guy.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Lois
I've always held that it's a good practice to designate one day of each week as your "I don't have to think" day. Basically, you plan your week so that on this particular day, every moment is accounted for so that you can have a day that is free of making any decision beyond what is necessary to engage in the tasks you've already planned. When I was in fourth year, Thursday was this day. I had class all day until 4 PM and badminton from 8:30 to 11:30. Between the end of class and badminton, Lois would always meet me in the cafeteria for dinner (and an after-dinner conversation) and thus allowed me to go through my Thursdays free from having to think about what I was going to do that entire day. And it was awesome.
Lois has the distinction of being the only other person from my high school to attend Queen's. Anthony T. also went to our school and also attended Queen's but neither of us ever heard from him (nor did we get invitations to his birthday party...) so we choose to ignore him. At any rate, Lois and I always shared that bond - one that was made even stronger when we considered that as far as we knew, we were the only ones from our high school in recent memory to attend Queen's and would likely be the last for years to come.
It's kinda funny - Lois and I had never really been THAT close when we were in high school. Part of that might have had to do with our age gap (2 years) that seemed a lot bigger way back when. It's kind of funny how easy it is to bond over a history - even if that history is sparse. It kinda makes me think... well, it makes me think of Monica and Rachel from Friends... but um... besides that, it also makes me think that maybe we have a far greater capacity for forming bonds with other people than we think. I mean, it's not as if Lois and I constantly yarned over the "good old days" whenever we ate in the cafeteria. And yet, just having that little bit of history is a little bit like having an inside joke you can pull out at any time - just knowing that the person gets it is enough to to make you consider that she might also get the newer jokes too.
It also helps that Lois always sounds like she's happy to see me. She generally has a happy demeanor, even when she's stressed, and she likes to laugh and is simply a friendly person. She also doesn't use contractions in her speech - it's one of her quirks that I've always, for some reason, found endearing. Add all that to the fact that she's willing to humor me in my "weekly tradition" type dinners (seriously, as soon as she noticed it become a semi-established routine, she never missed a week) and you have, I should say, a thoroughly wonderful girl.
Lois has the distinction of being the only other person from my high school to attend Queen's. Anthony T. also went to our school and also attended Queen's but neither of us ever heard from him (nor did we get invitations to his birthday party...) so we choose to ignore him. At any rate, Lois and I always shared that bond - one that was made even stronger when we considered that as far as we knew, we were the only ones from our high school in recent memory to attend Queen's and would likely be the last for years to come.
It's kinda funny - Lois and I had never really been THAT close when we were in high school. Part of that might have had to do with our age gap (2 years) that seemed a lot bigger way back when. It's kind of funny how easy it is to bond over a history - even if that history is sparse. It kinda makes me think... well, it makes me think of Monica and Rachel from Friends... but um... besides that, it also makes me think that maybe we have a far greater capacity for forming bonds with other people than we think. I mean, it's not as if Lois and I constantly yarned over the "good old days" whenever we ate in the cafeteria. And yet, just having that little bit of history is a little bit like having an inside joke you can pull out at any time - just knowing that the person gets it is enough to to make you consider that she might also get the newer jokes too.
It also helps that Lois always sounds like she's happy to see me. She generally has a happy demeanor, even when she's stressed, and she likes to laugh and is simply a friendly person. She also doesn't use contractions in her speech - it's one of her quirks that I've always, for some reason, found endearing. Add all that to the fact that she's willing to humor me in my "weekly tradition" type dinners (seriously, as soon as she noticed it become a semi-established routine, she never missed a week) and you have, I should say, a thoroughly wonderful girl.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Carlie
Back at the beginning of fourth year, I had just met Carlie through Dave. She was a don and in Con-Ed so we had some familiar grounds to start off on right from the get-go. She had also taken a classics course in a previous year that I was taking at the time and we both agreed that the prof was heinous and invented a lot of the final marks; we arrived at this last conclusion from our inexplicably high marks despite failing a good portion of the class. At any rate, I had known Carlie for a very short time but I will always remember coming home from class one day and seeing that Carlie had written on my wall, suggesting that we have dinner at Leonard sometime. For some reason, that gesture of goodwill stuck with me and I remember it to this day.
At first glance, I think most people would be inclined to say that Carlie and I are very different people. The longer I know her, though, the more I'm convinced that Carlie and I share some fundamental beliefs about love, friendships, and the bonds we make with people around us. We also share some fundamental preferences for certain awesome television shows (Glee, HIMYM, Boy Meets World) but that's more of a bonus.
I first noticed this understanding when Carlie began commenting on the notes I wrote on facebook. At first I thought it was simply a product of my spectacular note-writing skills but as I wrote more and Carlie kept commenting, I began to realize that the ideas I was expressing through them were ideas that Carlie had also, at one point, considered. I wasn't really illuminating anything new or showing her anything she didn't already know. And while there's something to be said about showing people a new way of seeing or understanding somethings, it's also pretty cool to know that someone already gets it.
Ultimately, though, there is one particular trait about Carlie that stands out among everyone else in my life. Carlie understands that a good friendship needs to be fed and she will ALWAYS take the time, every so often, to ask you about your life and let you know that she's thinking about you. She will send postcards; she'll make mix-CDs. She will also always let you know, after you've seen her, how much she enjoyed seeing you. Carlie is the only person I know who does this and it is just... so awesome. You'll hang out with her, maybe with some friends; you'll say goodbye; head home, feeling pretty good about the day/evening; then you'll open up the facebook and see that she's posted on your wall, telling you how awesome it was to see you.
And that's it, you know? It's the extra mile; the cherry on top; the little thing that makes you realize just how lucky you are to know someone who makes the effort to reaffirm the value she places in your friendship. What more could you ask for?
At first glance, I think most people would be inclined to say that Carlie and I are very different people. The longer I know her, though, the more I'm convinced that Carlie and I share some fundamental beliefs about love, friendships, and the bonds we make with people around us. We also share some fundamental preferences for certain awesome television shows (Glee, HIMYM, Boy Meets World) but that's more of a bonus.
I first noticed this understanding when Carlie began commenting on the notes I wrote on facebook. At first I thought it was simply a product of my spectacular note-writing skills but as I wrote more and Carlie kept commenting, I began to realize that the ideas I was expressing through them were ideas that Carlie had also, at one point, considered. I wasn't really illuminating anything new or showing her anything she didn't already know. And while there's something to be said about showing people a new way of seeing or understanding somethings, it's also pretty cool to know that someone already gets it.
Ultimately, though, there is one particular trait about Carlie that stands out among everyone else in my life. Carlie understands that a good friendship needs to be fed and she will ALWAYS take the time, every so often, to ask you about your life and let you know that she's thinking about you. She will send postcards; she'll make mix-CDs. She will also always let you know, after you've seen her, how much she enjoyed seeing you. Carlie is the only person I know who does this and it is just... so awesome. You'll hang out with her, maybe with some friends; you'll say goodbye; head home, feeling pretty good about the day/evening; then you'll open up the facebook and see that she's posted on your wall, telling you how awesome it was to see you.
And that's it, you know? It's the extra mile; the cherry on top; the little thing that makes you realize just how lucky you are to know someone who makes the effort to reaffirm the value she places in your friendship. What more could you ask for?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Grant
When I was in third year at Queen's, I went through an... interesting final quarter of the year; this interesting epoch involved a girl from one of my classes. Now, this brief episode of my life would end up shaping the rest of my time at Queen's in ways I had not anticipated but that's a story best saved for another time. The important point (from the perspective of this particular entry) is that very early on in the whole affair, I had sent Grant an email, documenting the preliminary failures I had in my attempts at getting to know this girl. His reply was one of kindest and most uplifting messages I have ever gotten from anyone. On the strength of this reply alone, I convinced myself to see the whole thing through to the end and hey, it actually turned out pretty well, all things considered.
I spent about half an hour (time I don't actually have) trying to decide on the one definitive example of why Grant has been one of the most influential people in my life. Of course, when you've known someone for 10+ years, the one moment you choose to define your friendship will invariably end up inadequate, particularly if this person happens to understand you better than anyone else you could ever hope to run into.
That was not an exaggeration. I truly don't think I will ever meet someone who understands the way I think, feel, or operate, better than Grant. From the jokes that I find hilarious to the importance of love and why "there's nothing more to life than girls," to the darkest and most horrible realizations I sometimes have about human nature - I hardly ever have to censor myself around Grant because he gets it. Grant just gets it. And that's the thing about someone who knows you as well as you know yourself - I can say anything about anything and he'll probably nod to show that he sees where I'm coming from before providing his own views on the matter.
The opposite also holds true - Grant, as far as I can tell, doesn't really censor himself whenever we have conversations and as a result, we tend to get places in our conversations. And you'd be surprised at how much more productive your conversations are when you're not holding back. If I were to pinpoint a definitive period in which we really consolidated our friendship, it would have to be during the first semester of first year. University was a new experience for the both of us and aside from living our own lives, we would also live each other's lives vicariously through email exchanges. I think it was the first time in my life that I had known someone who actually cared to hear about the things I had to say about love, life, and music.
Like Brett, Grant is capable of seeing the humor in life. One of the reasons why Grant is awesome is because you can share anything on the emotional spectrum with him and he'll probably be able to relate to you. If something horrible is happening in life, I can always be sure that Grant will empathize. Likewise, if something hilarious happens, I can always be sure that he'll find the joke funny too. His emotional quotient is off the charts and that's pretty awesome if you're the kind of person who needs to feel connected to someone before you can talk to them.
In the end, the best thing about Grant is that he understand how important it is to be a fundamentally good person. I mean, I know lots of people who are fundamentally good guys but Grant is one of the few people I know who has constantly led a life where making the "right" decision and being a "nice guy" has never been automatic or the default choice. He's one of the few people you will meet who understands - truly understands - not only why it's important to make the right decisions in life, but also why it's so easy to make the wrong ones. Most importantly, he understands this without turning his nose up at people who make bad decisions.
In our society, we go crazy over people who are famous - whether it's for their talents in music, acting, professional sports, what have you... and part of that is because we look up to and admire their abilities. "Man, to be able to write that song/play that role/hit 50 home runs, that's pretty incredible," we say to ourselves. And of course, those feats are pretty incredible. But you know what's even more incredible? Being a good person: being faithful to your partner; not taking advantage of others; being kind and considerate and open-minded; understanding that there are other people who - like you - are just trying to get by in the world. If you take these things for granted, think about all the sleazy people at your seedy, underground bars; think of the multi-billion dollar drug industry; think of all the racism and violence and crime; think about the cheating spouses and divorce rates; think about all the people who cut you off on the road; think of all the people in the world who make the wrong choices; who are making the wrong choices right now.
Being hedonistic and giving into what you want, regardless of the cost, is not something that no one in their right mind would do. Grant is someone who understands this better than anyone I know. And yet, when faced with the choice, Grant has always decided to be a good person. And it's not because he considers the alternatives to be "below" him. Rather, they are simply paths he has chosen not to follow because he understands that ultimately, the constant battle to hold onto the good is the only battle in life worth being proud of.
I spent about half an hour (time I don't actually have) trying to decide on the one definitive example of why Grant has been one of the most influential people in my life. Of course, when you've known someone for 10+ years, the one moment you choose to define your friendship will invariably end up inadequate, particularly if this person happens to understand you better than anyone else you could ever hope to run into.
That was not an exaggeration. I truly don't think I will ever meet someone who understands the way I think, feel, or operate, better than Grant. From the jokes that I find hilarious to the importance of love and why "there's nothing more to life than girls," to the darkest and most horrible realizations I sometimes have about human nature - I hardly ever have to censor myself around Grant because he gets it. Grant just gets it. And that's the thing about someone who knows you as well as you know yourself - I can say anything about anything and he'll probably nod to show that he sees where I'm coming from before providing his own views on the matter.
The opposite also holds true - Grant, as far as I can tell, doesn't really censor himself whenever we have conversations and as a result, we tend to get places in our conversations. And you'd be surprised at how much more productive your conversations are when you're not holding back. If I were to pinpoint a definitive period in which we really consolidated our friendship, it would have to be during the first semester of first year. University was a new experience for the both of us and aside from living our own lives, we would also live each other's lives vicariously through email exchanges. I think it was the first time in my life that I had known someone who actually cared to hear about the things I had to say about love, life, and music.
Like Brett, Grant is capable of seeing the humor in life. One of the reasons why Grant is awesome is because you can share anything on the emotional spectrum with him and he'll probably be able to relate to you. If something horrible is happening in life, I can always be sure that Grant will empathize. Likewise, if something hilarious happens, I can always be sure that he'll find the joke funny too. His emotional quotient is off the charts and that's pretty awesome if you're the kind of person who needs to feel connected to someone before you can talk to them.
In the end, the best thing about Grant is that he understand how important it is to be a fundamentally good person. I mean, I know lots of people who are fundamentally good guys but Grant is one of the few people I know who has constantly led a life where making the "right" decision and being a "nice guy" has never been automatic or the default choice. He's one of the few people you will meet who understands - truly understands - not only why it's important to make the right decisions in life, but also why it's so easy to make the wrong ones. Most importantly, he understands this without turning his nose up at people who make bad decisions.
In our society, we go crazy over people who are famous - whether it's for their talents in music, acting, professional sports, what have you... and part of that is because we look up to and admire their abilities. "Man, to be able to write that song/play that role/hit 50 home runs, that's pretty incredible," we say to ourselves. And of course, those feats are pretty incredible. But you know what's even more incredible? Being a good person: being faithful to your partner; not taking advantage of others; being kind and considerate and open-minded; understanding that there are other people who - like you - are just trying to get by in the world. If you take these things for granted, think about all the sleazy people at your seedy, underground bars; think of the multi-billion dollar drug industry; think of all the racism and violence and crime; think about the cheating spouses and divorce rates; think about all the people who cut you off on the road; think of all the people in the world who make the wrong choices; who are making the wrong choices right now.
Being hedonistic and giving into what you want, regardless of the cost, is not something that no one in their right mind would do. Grant is someone who understands this better than anyone I know. And yet, when faced with the choice, Grant has always decided to be a good person. And it's not because he considers the alternatives to be "below" him. Rather, they are simply paths he has chosen not to follow because he understands that ultimately, the constant battle to hold onto the good is the only battle in life worth being proud of.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Mari
I was in Leonard Cafeteria (obviously) one evening - this was during November of 2010 - and I was eating with some friends when Mari came and joined us at the table. I did not know Mari personally but I had eaten with her a few times that year. In Leonard Cafeteria terms, eating "with" someone could mean anything from sitting across from them during a meal to being at opposite ends of a table, depending on how big your peer group was during that particular dining experience. In Mari's case, having eaten "with" her meant that I recall seeing her at some of our larger meal gatherings. She seemed friendly enough but as was the usual case when I sat with people I wasn't familiar with, I did not speak unless spoken to.
And then Mari spoke to me! Not only that, but I distinctly remember that precise meal as the defining moment when Mari and I became friends because I was struck by the warmth that was emanating from her being when she spoke to me.
She, here's the thing with Mari: she is a very warm person. She is such a caring individual that you can hear it in her voice when she speaks. Maybe it's just the wonderful combination of being friendly and having a great sense of humor but bringing Mari into a social dynamic usually results in good feelings all around. She makes you feel safe, I guess, which is probably part of the reason why she was a don.
Speaking of safe, Mari is also a professional driver. This is probably the single most awesome thing about anyone ever. I always assume that this means that nothing can go wrong when she's behind the wheel but that may or may not be an example of me exaggerating the extent to which you can draw reasonable conclusions from a given premise. Either way, it's still the single most awesome thing about anyone ever.
Mari also knows more about birds than anyone else I know.
She also once referred to the penis as "the beef bayonet" though she may or may not have been quoting someone. Either way, it was funny; especially paired with the "We're going to war!" chant she used to illustrate the (un)suitability of the term.
When it comes down to it, though, Mari is awesome because she's yet another person I met through absolutely no effort of my own. I know this makes me sound like a lazy arse who can't be bothered to make friends but I really am incredibly uncomfortable around people I don't know... and I do admire those people who have enough self-confidence to reach out to me when I give them absolutely no reason to. Because if people didn't do this, this blog would run dry pretty quickly. Fortunately, there are people like Mari and Courtney and Tim (and many others) who are willing to reach out to people who aren't particularly good at reaching out on their own.
And then Mari spoke to me! Not only that, but I distinctly remember that precise meal as the defining moment when Mari and I became friends because I was struck by the warmth that was emanating from her being when she spoke to me.
She, here's the thing with Mari: she is a very warm person. She is such a caring individual that you can hear it in her voice when she speaks. Maybe it's just the wonderful combination of being friendly and having a great sense of humor but bringing Mari into a social dynamic usually results in good feelings all around. She makes you feel safe, I guess, which is probably part of the reason why she was a don.
Speaking of safe, Mari is also a professional driver. This is probably the single most awesome thing about anyone ever. I always assume that this means that nothing can go wrong when she's behind the wheel but that may or may not be an example of me exaggerating the extent to which you can draw reasonable conclusions from a given premise. Either way, it's still the single most awesome thing about anyone ever.
Mari also knows more about birds than anyone else I know.
She also once referred to the penis as "the beef bayonet" though she may or may not have been quoting someone. Either way, it was funny; especially paired with the "We're going to war!" chant she used to illustrate the (un)suitability of the term.
When it comes down to it, though, Mari is awesome because she's yet another person I met through absolutely no effort of my own. I know this makes me sound like a lazy arse who can't be bothered to make friends but I really am incredibly uncomfortable around people I don't know... and I do admire those people who have enough self-confidence to reach out to me when I give them absolutely no reason to. Because if people didn't do this, this blog would run dry pretty quickly. Fortunately, there are people like Mari and Courtney and Tim (and many others) who are willing to reach out to people who aren't particularly good at reaching out on their own.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Tim
I have a hard time pinpointing a specific scenario that sums up why Tim is a great guy. It mostly has to do with him being such friendly person. I've been told there's a sort of roguish charm to the way he interacts with people and I think that's why he's such a likable guy. He is what happens when someone with charisma also happens to be nice and down-to-earth; you find yourself drawn to him without feeling like you're in his shadow.
Tim also doesn't seem like he takes life too seriously. And that's not to say that he's incapable of taking things seriously; rather, it's like he is capable of contemplating an important/serious decision or situation without losing sight of its relative impact on his life as a whole. At least, that's the impression I get from him.
At the end of the day, though, Tim is just... a good person. I've known him for some years now and I guess we've never been close close friends - but I've always enjoyed hanging out with him and being in his company. He's always happy to see you, always interested to hear about your life, and is always willing to see the good traits in you and be happy for your successes.
Tim also doesn't seem like he takes life too seriously. And that's not to say that he's incapable of taking things seriously; rather, it's like he is capable of contemplating an important/serious decision or situation without losing sight of its relative impact on his life as a whole. At least, that's the impression I get from him.
At the end of the day, though, Tim is just... a good person. I've known him for some years now and I guess we've never been close close friends - but I've always enjoyed hanging out with him and being in his company. He's always happy to see you, always interested to hear about your life, and is always willing to see the good traits in you and be happy for your successes.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Suzy
A few years ago, on my birthday, I returned from class to find a note on my door that said, "Happy Birthday Jon Wong." It was signed, "your front-door neighbor." It took me a few seconds to figure out that Suzy had derived "front-door neighbor" from "next-door neighbor" to mean "neighbor from across the hall." It was one of those moments that always makes me chuckle every time I think about Suzy.
If I were to think of the definitive example of how living in residence brings people together, I would think of the year I spent living across the hall from Suzy. Under any other circumstance, Suzy and I probably would probably never have spoken to each other because we are simply such different people who lead such different lives. She was in a different program than I was; she's interested in different things; the people she hangs out with are not the kind of people I hang out with (and vice versa); our personalities don't mesh... you get the picture.
However, one of craziest things about residence is that it sometimes throws people together who might never otherwise have spoken to one another. By some strange coincidence, I ended up living across the hall from someone who had no idea what university would be like and the simple fact that I did meant that we suddenly had something to bond over. Suzy liked talking about "the-first-year-experience," as I called it, and I was interested in listening.
Suzy's friendly and sociable. She makes the effort to talk to people and she isn't someone who will pretend not to notice you if the two of you cross paths. She always seemed happy to see me and this is not something to take lightly considering how often we saw one another over the course of an 8-month period. This was true even when she had not social obligation to do so. I remember returning to residence a number of times and... well, it's not like I was trying to sneak into my room without her seeing me... but it hadn't crossed my mind to chat. Nonetheless, as soon as she heard my lock click, Suzy would always call out and say hi. And that's nice, you know?
Suzy will also take the initiative to point out some of your nice traits if she notices them. I remember helping someone with an essay once and left my door open during the process. After I finished going over said essay and sent this girl on her merry way, I had just turned to my computer when I heard Suzy yell across the hall, "You're gonna be a great teacher, Jon!"
Suzy's intense and full of the life she tries to enjoy. That's one thing I'll always remember about her - her intensity. She was a competitive gymnast before she started university so I guess that's where some of it comes from. Even though I still think that she and I might not have bonded had we met elsewhere, I guess the biggest point here is that we didn't. We met in a situation that did allow us to bond and I got a chance to know someone whose wonderful traits might not have jumped out at me had our situation differed as slightly as one of us living in a different section of the floor.
If I were to think of the definitive example of how living in residence brings people together, I would think of the year I spent living across the hall from Suzy. Under any other circumstance, Suzy and I probably would probably never have spoken to each other because we are simply such different people who lead such different lives. She was in a different program than I was; she's interested in different things; the people she hangs out with are not the kind of people I hang out with (and vice versa); our personalities don't mesh... you get the picture.
However, one of craziest things about residence is that it sometimes throws people together who might never otherwise have spoken to one another. By some strange coincidence, I ended up living across the hall from someone who had no idea what university would be like and the simple fact that I did meant that we suddenly had something to bond over. Suzy liked talking about "the-first-year-experience," as I called it, and I was interested in listening.
Suzy's friendly and sociable. She makes the effort to talk to people and she isn't someone who will pretend not to notice you if the two of you cross paths. She always seemed happy to see me and this is not something to take lightly considering how often we saw one another over the course of an 8-month period. This was true even when she had not social obligation to do so. I remember returning to residence a number of times and... well, it's not like I was trying to sneak into my room without her seeing me... but it hadn't crossed my mind to chat. Nonetheless, as soon as she heard my lock click, Suzy would always call out and say hi. And that's nice, you know?
Suzy will also take the initiative to point out some of your nice traits if she notices them. I remember helping someone with an essay once and left my door open during the process. After I finished going over said essay and sent this girl on her merry way, I had just turned to my computer when I heard Suzy yell across the hall, "You're gonna be a great teacher, Jon!"
Suzy's intense and full of the life she tries to enjoy. That's one thing I'll always remember about her - her intensity. She was a competitive gymnast before she started university so I guess that's where some of it comes from. Even though I still think that she and I might not have bonded had we met elsewhere, I guess the biggest point here is that we didn't. We met in a situation that did allow us to bond and I got a chance to know someone whose wonderful traits might not have jumped out at me had our situation differed as slightly as one of us living in a different section of the floor.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Brett
Way back at the turn of the millennium, my grade 7 teacher gave us an assignment that required us to research and write a paper on someone we considered a hero. I had led a sheltered and rather unexciting life up until then (minus the 3 suspensions I received in grades 3, 3 (again) and 6) and wasn't exactly surrounded by a bevy of people I considered "heroes". Not in its traditional sense anyway. I remember classmates selecting people like Wayne Gretzky (Grant), The Moffats (<-- I don't know if Samantha actually chose this boy band but I assume she did), or Tiger Woods (<-- at the time, Michael was under the impression that Tiger Woods was considerably less sleazy than he actually turned out to be) and I was at a loss at who to choose.
I can't remember the logic or reasoning behind the following decision (apathy as likely as not) but I ended up writing my hero project on a then 10 year old Brett, who I had only known for something like a month due to a recently initiated friendship with his brother, Grant. For the next week, Grant and Brett detailed a biography of the latter's life while I took notes and turned it into my "hero" project. I got an 18/20 on that project so, you know, not too shabby for an academically disinterested young punk.
Brett is a funny guy. He really is. He sees the humor in life and will gladly inform you of why you ought to be laughing at something if you're not already doing so. He has a GREAT memory and is always good for one of those "Remember when..." moments that people love. He's also pretty awesome because he is an avid fan of the Toronto Blue Jays. As Canada's only baseball team (and the only MLB franchise outside the U.S.) it surprises me sometimes how rarely I meet people who enjoyed the sport. This is a pity because I am a huge baseball fan and people rarely care about the things that I find interested and/or exciting about the sport - it's one of the things that are a big part of my life that I rarely get a chance to talk about (badminton and yo-yos being some other examples). Brett, however, IS a baseball fan and the only other person I know who actively follows the Toronto Blue Jays and it's just nice to be able to talk to someone about how the Jays are doing and why "HOLY CRAP THE JAYS TRADED VERNON WELLS" is worthy of being written in capital letters.
Brett also subscribes to my awesome theory that when you recount stories, you should wave your hands in frenzied manner to signify that people are emotional and/or excited.
One thing you have to admire about Brett is the bond he shares with his brother. As someone who's never been particularly close to his own brother, I always respect and admire people whose best friends are their siblings because it just shows a kind of solidarity that perhaps you don't see as often these days. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family - and because of that, the amount of understanding and support you have to have for a sibling in order to share a bond goes beyond what you can reasonably expect from your friends. Brett has this in abundance and it really is amazing.
I can't remember the logic or reasoning behind the following decision (apathy as likely as not) but I ended up writing my hero project on a then 10 year old Brett, who I had only known for something like a month due to a recently initiated friendship with his brother, Grant. For the next week, Grant and Brett detailed a biography of the latter's life while I took notes and turned it into my "hero" project. I got an 18/20 on that project so, you know, not too shabby for an academically disinterested young punk.
Brett is a funny guy. He really is. He sees the humor in life and will gladly inform you of why you ought to be laughing at something if you're not already doing so. He has a GREAT memory and is always good for one of those "Remember when..." moments that people love. He's also pretty awesome because he is an avid fan of the Toronto Blue Jays. As Canada's only baseball team (and the only MLB franchise outside the U.S.) it surprises me sometimes how rarely I meet people who enjoyed the sport. This is a pity because I am a huge baseball fan and people rarely care about the things that I find interested and/or exciting about the sport - it's one of the things that are a big part of my life that I rarely get a chance to talk about (badminton and yo-yos being some other examples). Brett, however, IS a baseball fan and the only other person I know who actively follows the Toronto Blue Jays and it's just nice to be able to talk to someone about how the Jays are doing and why "HOLY CRAP THE JAYS TRADED VERNON WELLS" is worthy of being written in capital letters.
Brett also subscribes to my awesome theory that when you recount stories, you should wave your hands in frenzied manner to signify that people are emotional and/or excited.
One thing you have to admire about Brett is the bond he shares with his brother. As someone who's never been particularly close to his own brother, I always respect and admire people whose best friends are their siblings because it just shows a kind of solidarity that perhaps you don't see as often these days. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family - and because of that, the amount of understanding and support you have to have for a sibling in order to share a bond goes beyond what you can reasonably expect from your friends. Brett has this in abundance and it really is amazing.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Courtney
Courtney being the first awesome person is about as appropriate as having Frou Frou's "Let Go" on the Garden State soundtrack. It's funny - about a year ago, I remember having a conversation with her after English class about how it's simply not a social norm to go around telling all the people you care about why they're awesome. I do remember saying something like, "Well, in case you need to actually hear me say this, I do think you're pretty awesome." I stopped short of actually saying why so I guess I'll do that now.
I once decided to spend an entire summer working at a summer camp down in New York. The only catch to this was that I had to miss almost the entire orientation period of the job because of a wedding and didn't arrive at the campsite until something like 2 or 3 days before the actual start date of camp. I've always had a terrible history of making friends and missing orientation was actually a terrible idea (hindsight being 20/20 and all). To make a long story short, I spent a lot of my downtime on my own (my co-counselor was off gallivanting around with a girl on the waiting staff) and were it not for Courtney, I feel like I might have been very unhappy (I remember being unhappy at any rate but I think it would have been worse).
Courtney, you see, was temporarily living in the States at the time and we spent most of the summer corresponding through letters (and occasionally facebook/MSN when the clouds at my camp weren't blocking the signal from the satellite dish that represented our only source of internet). She even made a few mix CDs and sent them through the mail. It was one of the most memorable gestures of friendship I can remember from the years we've known one another.
I always bring up this anecdote when I want to encapsulate how great of a person Courtney is. It's just a good example of how she is a fundamentally kind person and how it manifests itself in funny ways sometimes. I remember her sending care packages to a soldier in Afghanistan (or some such place) with whom she had become pen-pals back when we were in undergrad. It's just one of things, you know?
She also uses exclamation points when she types. That's pretty cool, I think. The difference between using exclamation points when you type and not using them is akin to the difference between being greeted by someone flying into your arms and someone waving and saying "Hey." I mean, I'm sure the same greeting sentiment is there but it's nice to emphasize the point sometimes; especially if it's positive.
Courtney's also gifted at seeing and understanding inter-personal relationships in ways that run parallel to my own. It's nice because I spend a lot of time thinking about the ways that we establish and maintain connections to other people and Courtney's always been someone who's interested in hearing what I have to say about them. Not only that, but she often has her own interesting perspective to add to the whole idea and I usually walk away from those conversations feeling like I've made progress on my understanding of the particular issue at hand. And that's always a nice feeling.
She's good at making you feel like you matter. In some ways, it's a combination of good conversation skills and the aforementioned demonstrations of excitement. Courtney won't just tell you that something you've said or done is cool or interesting, she'll also tell you why she thinks it's cool or interesting. And this is something that you really have to appreciate about someone like her. Not only can you feel good about the fact that someone appreciates what you've said or done, but the fact that she's taken the time to explain her reasoning to you makes you feel like she's appreciated it in the right way. Furthermore, she empathizes well, I think, and she isn't too proud to recognize her own flaws. She's got great taste in films and literature and is probably going to end up as a lot of students' favorite teacher. I don't know what she lauds my teaching "skills". Given the choice, I'd send my kids to her school over mine. She was also kind enough to befriend me in first year and considering how few reasons I usually provide to complete strangers to do this, I think it speaks to her ability to make something out of very little.
I once decided to spend an entire summer working at a summer camp down in New York. The only catch to this was that I had to miss almost the entire orientation period of the job because of a wedding and didn't arrive at the campsite until something like 2 or 3 days before the actual start date of camp. I've always had a terrible history of making friends and missing orientation was actually a terrible idea (hindsight being 20/20 and all). To make a long story short, I spent a lot of my downtime on my own (my co-counselor was off gallivanting around with a girl on the waiting staff) and were it not for Courtney, I feel like I might have been very unhappy (I remember being unhappy at any rate but I think it would have been worse).
Courtney, you see, was temporarily living in the States at the time and we spent most of the summer corresponding through letters (and occasionally facebook/MSN when the clouds at my camp weren't blocking the signal from the satellite dish that represented our only source of internet). She even made a few mix CDs and sent them through the mail. It was one of the most memorable gestures of friendship I can remember from the years we've known one another.
I always bring up this anecdote when I want to encapsulate how great of a person Courtney is. It's just a good example of how she is a fundamentally kind person and how it manifests itself in funny ways sometimes. I remember her sending care packages to a soldier in Afghanistan (or some such place) with whom she had become pen-pals back when we were in undergrad. It's just one of things, you know?
She also uses exclamation points when she types. That's pretty cool, I think. The difference between using exclamation points when you type and not using them is akin to the difference between being greeted by someone flying into your arms and someone waving and saying "Hey." I mean, I'm sure the same greeting sentiment is there but it's nice to emphasize the point sometimes; especially if it's positive.
Courtney's also gifted at seeing and understanding inter-personal relationships in ways that run parallel to my own. It's nice because I spend a lot of time thinking about the ways that we establish and maintain connections to other people and Courtney's always been someone who's interested in hearing what I have to say about them. Not only that, but she often has her own interesting perspective to add to the whole idea and I usually walk away from those conversations feeling like I've made progress on my understanding of the particular issue at hand. And that's always a nice feeling.
She's good at making you feel like you matter. In some ways, it's a combination of good conversation skills and the aforementioned demonstrations of excitement. Courtney won't just tell you that something you've said or done is cool or interesting, she'll also tell you why she thinks it's cool or interesting. And this is something that you really have to appreciate about someone like her. Not only can you feel good about the fact that someone appreciates what you've said or done, but the fact that she's taken the time to explain her reasoning to you makes you feel like she's appreciated it in the right way. Furthermore, she empathizes well, I think, and she isn't too proud to recognize her own flaws. She's got great taste in films and literature and is probably going to end up as a lot of students' favorite teacher. I don't know what she lauds my teaching "skills". Given the choice, I'd send my kids to her school over mine. She was also kind enough to befriend me in first year and considering how few reasons I usually provide to complete strangers to do this, I think it speaks to her ability to make something out of very little.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Introduction
I suppose I ought to provide some back story. It's relatively simple. Today was terrible. As I drove home earlier this evening, I was practically seething and for some reason, I thought of something that someone once told me about being angry at the world. I forgot the exact content of what she said but the end result was a recommendation that when you feel like crap, doing something nice for someone is generally a good way of putting you back into a better mood. With that in mind, I decided to create this blog so I could write nice things about people in my life and why they are awesome.
I've always thought that we don't tell people how much they mean to us as often as we should. I guess there's a sort of implicit understanding that the mere fact that we are friends signifies that there is something about you that I value. Generally, we are more inclined to vocalize the things about other people that irk or bother us rather than vocalize the things about them that we like. Personally, I think that's kind of arse backwards but what do I know? Still, I think perhaps it's worth taking the time, every so often (and especially if I am, for some arbitrary reason, angry at the world) to write about the best in others. Hopefully, I can gain some perspective in doing this and hopefully, you will see in yourself all the wonderful things I see in you.
I've always thought that we don't tell people how much they mean to us as often as we should. I guess there's a sort of implicit understanding that the mere fact that we are friends signifies that there is something about you that I value. Generally, we are more inclined to vocalize the things about other people that irk or bother us rather than vocalize the things about them that we like. Personally, I think that's kind of arse backwards but what do I know? Still, I think perhaps it's worth taking the time, every so often (and especially if I am, for some arbitrary reason, angry at the world) to write about the best in others. Hopefully, I can gain some perspective in doing this and hopefully, you will see in yourself all the wonderful things I see in you.
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